The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions.
To Recover My Creativity
I want to write about the Cat Show at Madison Square Garden or the Economy or "Saturday Night Live," but I'm feeling too self-conscious.
Today, I decided to give myself the gift of focusing exclusively on my writing, rather than cramming it in around everything else I'm doing. That's turning out to be self-consciousness-producing.
Too bad. It's important to express myself, even if I'm listening too hard to each syllable as my fingertips slowly press it out.
Healthy Pressure
The artists support group I go to on Monday nights has agreed to devote on Monday a month to an Action Plan meeting.
That Monday is tomorrow night. Oy! The Plan will require each of us to declare and commit to what we'll do in a particular period of time to further our art. What I'd rather do today and forever is focus on petting the purring kitty, who's lying in my lap.
It's unnerving to try to figure out more than I'm doing via the blogging. In fact, my blog is far more than I ever did pre-blog to express my voice broadly. I started talking to one of my friends about the concept of the Action Plan and got the sense that committing further to my blog might not qualify as an OK Plan. It seemed that I needed to be paid for my writing, or at least published by someone else, rather than myself (via the blog).
What Would I Wish to Have Published?
That's the problem: I don't feel drawn to write anything that's commercially appealing. At dinner with a friend the other night, he said, "There's definitely a market for memoirs, but they have to be ironic, like David Sedaris' or Augusten Burrough's, and you probably don't want to write like that."
~Giant sneeze and Phoebe, the kitty, claws through my sweatpants as she springs off my lap in fear.~
In 2000, I completed a 180-page, coming-of-age memoir, but have had no desire to continue revising and editing it to make it commercially viable. The blog appeals to me so much because the only sort of writing that interests me in my free-time features my reflections on what I hear and see and experience around me.
If someone were willing to publish the best of my blog entries as a book, that would be wonderful. I just want the writing to be pure pleasure, and not laborious. Chutpah, I know.
Phoebe is back.
Showing posts with label creativity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label creativity. Show all posts
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
What My Creativity Needs Right Now
The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions.
Expression!
My dad's mohair-wool, knit, square-bottomed tie is around my neck right now. Will I wear it outside?
"It's kind of formal, and hot," Pat suggested tactfully when I said I might wear it in public today.
I did some closet re-organizing yesterday morning and now, I can see my collection of ties more readily. In the '80s, I wore them when I went to dance-clubs fairly often and I always felt extra-suave when I did. A number of them came from my dad, may his memory be blessed -- my mom let me have the ones I wanted -- and I also bought three of them for myself back then.
This one from my dad is a shade brighter than '70s refrigerator-green. Along with the tie, I'm wearing a pair of olive cargo pants that I bought in India and a light-blue denim shirt. Why does wearing this outfit make me feel that there are more creative possibilities for me? It says: I am different. Not conventional. Will I wear it outside today, though?
I told Pat, I think I want to wear one or another tie all weekend, at least in the house. She was encouraging of that. I'm also thinking that if I wear my dad's ties, maybe they'll loan me the spirit of his brilliance; this tie encircled my dad's neck and lay on his chest every so often as he worked to invent the next big toy or game throughout the '70s.
Lately, I'm inventing learning events for work and papers for school, and for my birthday, which is on July 13th, Pat agreed to go to an art supply store with me, so I could buy some drawing paper and a new set of Caran D'Ache crayons. We're going to Maine later this summer and I want to invent some new drawings while we're there.
Expression!
My dad's mohair-wool, knit, square-bottomed tie is around my neck right now. Will I wear it outside?
"It's kind of formal, and hot," Pat suggested tactfully when I said I might wear it in public today.
I did some closet re-organizing yesterday morning and now, I can see my collection of ties more readily. In the '80s, I wore them when I went to dance-clubs fairly often and I always felt extra-suave when I did. A number of them came from my dad, may his memory be blessed -- my mom let me have the ones I wanted -- and I also bought three of them for myself back then.
This one from my dad is a shade brighter than '70s refrigerator-green. Along with the tie, I'm wearing a pair of olive cargo pants that I bought in India and a light-blue denim shirt. Why does wearing this outfit make me feel that there are more creative possibilities for me? It says: I am different. Not conventional. Will I wear it outside today, though?
I told Pat, I think I want to wear one or another tie all weekend, at least in the house. She was encouraging of that. I'm also thinking that if I wear my dad's ties, maybe they'll loan me the spirit of his brilliance; this tie encircled my dad's neck and lay on his chest every so often as he worked to invent the next big toy or game throughout the '70s.
Lately, I'm inventing learning events for work and papers for school, and for my birthday, which is on July 13th, Pat agreed to go to an art supply store with me, so I could buy some drawing paper and a new set of Caran D'Ache crayons. We're going to Maine later this summer and I want to invent some new drawings while we're there.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Eery Glow
The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions.
Don't Shine Too Much Or You'll Scare People
On page 65 of the June 23 "New Yorker," I saw the most marvelous cartoon:
A managerial type in a suit stood by a guy's desk, addressing him. The guy, who sat at the desk was a pure sunburst, other than his glasses, nose, smile, tie and arms. The caption read: "Take my advice, Roberts, and hide your light under a bushel."
Tonight, a Montclair friend read a passage from a book I own and need to read all the way through, The Art Spirit, by Robert Henri.
It was about how artists can be scary. I couldn't find the book when I hunted for it just now and instead, found Harry Mathews' 20 Lines a Day. He was inspired to write the book by something Stendhal wrote,"Vingt lignes par jour, genie ou pas" ("Twenty lines a day, genius or not.")
My copy of 20 Lines a Day was a gift from an ex-girlfriend, who was trying to encourage me to write; this was in 1989 and she inscribed the book:
Don't Shine Too Much Or You'll Scare People
On page 65 of the June 23 "New Yorker," I saw the most marvelous cartoon:
A managerial type in a suit stood by a guy's desk, addressing him. The guy, who sat at the desk was a pure sunburst, other than his glasses, nose, smile, tie and arms. The caption read: "Take my advice, Roberts, and hide your light under a bushel."
Tonight, a Montclair friend read a passage from a book I own and need to read all the way through, The Art Spirit, by Robert Henri.
It was about how artists can be scary. I couldn't find the book when I hunted for it just now and instead, found Harry Mathews' 20 Lines a Day. He was inspired to write the book by something Stendhal wrote,"Vingt lignes par jour, genie ou pas" ("Twenty lines a day, genius or not.")
My copy of 20 Lines a Day was a gift from an ex-girlfriend, who was trying to encourage me to write; this was in 1989 and she inscribed the book:
You have much to give but require the discipline to accomplish your...goals. You should not at all feel bad that you lack the discipline....You will find the tools and you will utilize them. You will affect the course of lives of others through your ideas and philosophies. You have to be strong enough to share them....
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Purpose-filled Purpose
The postings on this site ares my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions.
My Own in the World
What I need to write about feels much more personal than revealing that one of my family just had a brush with cancer (which I did in recent postings); it's about continually searching for my purpose in the world.
I'm still searching for my ideal role. I do feel closer and closer to it, and I do feel that IBM has enabled me tremendous freedom in charting my contribution to the company and its clients and colleagues, yet the problem with vacations is that they provide extra time for reflection.
I'm coming off of a peak experience in terms of the leadership development mission I just advanced while in India, and I hope it's understandable that inevitably, I'd be wondering, How can I top that? How can I be my most useful and also my most creative in my next mission, which hasn't yet been announced, and so I cannot write about it.
It's fun, but daunting, to daydream about my purpose. Last April, one of my mentors suggested that I write my vision -- all in the present tense in service to the power of suggestion, in cases where I haven't yet achieved the item -- and here are excerpts from it:
Earlier today, I read an article on Flannery O'Connor from a past issue of "The New York Times" that I had left on my night-table prior to our departure for India, and it reminded me of an author's advice in her careers for creative people book; she suggested, for inspiration, also thinking of "a creator" whose creativity I admire. I love Flannery O'Connor! How can her creativity inform my future creativity?
My Own in the World
What I need to write about feels much more personal than revealing that one of my family just had a brush with cancer (which I did in recent postings); it's about continually searching for my purpose in the world.
I'm still searching for my ideal role. I do feel closer and closer to it, and I do feel that IBM has enabled me tremendous freedom in charting my contribution to the company and its clients and colleagues, yet the problem with vacations is that they provide extra time for reflection.
I'm coming off of a peak experience in terms of the leadership development mission I just advanced while in India, and I hope it's understandable that inevitably, I'd be wondering, How can I top that? How can I be my most useful and also my most creative in my next mission, which hasn't yet been announced, and so I cannot write about it.
It's fun, but daunting, to daydream about my purpose. Last April, one of my mentors suggested that I write my vision -- all in the present tense in service to the power of suggestion, in cases where I haven't yet achieved the item -- and here are excerpts from it:
- I am moved to laugh routinely and often, and to help others laugh
- I am spiritually connected to people, including people who seem different from me initially
- I transform these connections into art through writing that is appreciated worldwide, by thousands, or even millions
- My writing helps others and me, particularly to feel less lonely in our experience
- I have work that enables me to:
- Meet interesting, kind people
- Write reflectively
- Lead
- Be part of a profound mission
- See the world
- Give charity to causes I value
- Afford more experiences and things that are high-quality, stylish and stimulating
- Meet interesting, kind people
- Along with physical exertion and self-expression...I become refreshed/recharged by appreciating as well as producing:
- Visual art
- Music
- Reading.
- Visual art
Earlier today, I read an article on Flannery O'Connor from a past issue of "The New York Times" that I had left on my night-table prior to our departure for India, and it reminded me of an author's advice in her careers for creative people book; she suggested, for inspiration, also thinking of "a creator" whose creativity I admire. I love Flannery O'Connor! How can her creativity inform my future creativity?
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