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Showing posts with label time and learning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time and learning. Show all posts

Sunday, April 5, 2009

No Absence of Desire

The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions.

*Brave New World* or Not

"Special" and "desire" are relative and subjective terms. What makes something special? Must it be original? Or exciting? Or poignant? Or a catalyst for love and/or change?

What is desire? Many agree that it's wanting something or someone you don't yet have.

The reading I've been doing for school and the class-time discussions lately have been on how all of the social media we now access so easily contribute to the end of desire; after all, if we have instant gratification more so than ever due to it and other technology, then we have fewer desires, right?

The readings also have been talking about how scholarly work can be less special these days, as there's less time to sit and think due to all of the 24/7 access that scholars' sponsors, students and colleagues have to them. Eriksen's (2007) complaint is: "Academic books increasingly look like cut-and-paste collages with snippets of conference papers here and excerpts of journal articles there" ("Stacking and Continuity: On Temporal Regimes in Popular Culture," in *24/7: Time and Temporality in the Network Society,* Ed. R. Hassan & R. E. Purser, p. 156).

By contrast to the academic realm, Pat and I are walking to the corner of Grove and Alexander in our town, Montclair, this afternoon, and I tell her:

"All this stuff I'm reading makes Web 2.0 out to be the devil. It totally demonizes it. Yeah, I know that there's less impulse to be original and slowly thoughtful, but the upsides are at least even with if not more numerous than the downsides. I mean, what a boon for communicating with people from really far away -- don't you love that you've got all these people you're finding to play games with, from all over the world?"

"Yes --"

"And then for marginalized people, a voice and visibility like never before. Certainly, people in the majority with privilege can complain about the downsides, but they don't even see how helpful it is to people who've been shy at best and disenfranchised historically at worst. That makes sense, right?"

Pat smiles at me.

"Right?...Were you listening to anything I just said?"

"Uhh, I was thinking about Mafia Wars [a game Pat likes that she found on Facebook]."

The new media do seem dangerous in terms of how easy/facile/quick they make most everything; I mean, just last week, I was responding to a colleague's blog-entry on how he's begun writing out his blog-posts by hand, though he didn't see fit to explain why. I commented:

To me, it would have been most fascinating to learn your reasons for blogging initially on paper. My writing is more soulful when I hand-write compared with when I type, and yet I type-write my blog entries for efficiency’s sake…which sort of defeats the purpose of blogging, which, for me, is to parade my soul. If only sleep were unnecessary....

It's true that I'm haunted by how easy typing is, and so how much less engaged I fear my brain is while I'm writing electronically. That's my biggest complaint.

Otherwise, I do not think that social media removes desire through instant gratification, which was how it was characterized during class the other night. I was so taken aback that I didn't even formulate a defense in real-time, and really, it's not for me to have to defend it, but I do want to say my piece here, where I say whatever I want routinely:

Facebook and its ilk have not reduced desire in me. Finding people on whom I had crushes in high school did not take away the historical desire for them. In some ways, it fanned it. A less loaded, and more common, example is how the technology has enabled me to become acquainted with gay, lesbian, bi and transpeople (GLBT) around the world like I'd only been able to do via my behind-the-firewall network of GLBT colleagues at IBM prior.

How cool is it that marginalized people can find one another and feel less marginal and more empowered? What does any of this have to do with time and learning?

In my experience, time to find kindred spirits and also to learn about remote cultures is reduced while time to write something from which people can learn at least a little, also, is reduced. People might learn even more if the authors online, including me, spent longer in authoring the writing, but then, there's also value in unveiling thoughts as quickly as possible, so that *some*one might be inspired by them to do good sooner.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Time Cut Short

The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions.

Marvin Gaye died today, some years ago. Shot by his father before Gaye Junior was 46, if I remember correctly. First song on the radio during my commute, his: "Sexual Healing." Driving home from Brewster and my colleague's husband's wake, Gaye's "Let's Get It On," immediately after leaving the funeral home.

Death and desire always go together with me. Someone beloved dies and I want to create life. At this point, writing is my alternative means of creating some form of life, i.e., bringing stories to life, along with sustaining lives that already exist, like that of the kitty, swishing the end of her tail as she rests everything other than her active purr in my lap.

"Sexual Healing," I've written here before, was the first song I heard, following the shivah period after the death of my father of blessed memory; a snippet of it played over the Stamford High P.A. system, to promote a dance that was happening the following weekend. I was the first to arrive for Civics and I cried, looking out the window at Sonia Liebowitz, arriving on her motorcycle in the middle of the day, her long, red hair hidden by a black helmet...till she took it off. I was so happy to hear music again, let alone a pop-song that I loved, and then it made me cry with desire, not necessarily for Sonia per se, but at large.

When my dad died, desire was the alternative to a complete shutdown of every emotion. I wanted to become pregnant, but was going about it all wrong....I guess I wanted to make new life to replace my father, but not really enough to disregard every bit of who I was then, i.e., a college-bound, as-secret-as-possible lesbian.

What if I had become pregnant at 17? My child(ren) would be out of college and even grad school probably now, if she, he or they had had the opportunity to go for higher education. I never did become pregnant, but it remains something I wish for, at least momentarily, whenever I am reminded of death.

Musical Mourning

"Let's Get It On" always moves me when I hear it, especially ever since the scene I witnessed around a decade ago at a saloon in the Adirondacks; I've written about it prior, too: Pat and I were at one of the earliest Adirondyke Weekends, which was organized by a friend, who retired from IBM, and her partner of 30+ years.

The song came on and another IBM friend, who's also since retired, and her girlfriend at the time, stopped the pool-game they were playing to go and dance languorously. I watched them abandon the game, dance beguilingly for the length of the song and then in slow-motion, return to resume their game, smiling at each other across the table.

My colleague's husband lay in a half-open casket as we toured the collage of his life in photos with my colleague. There he was as a young boy, standing by the couch on which a black kitty sat, ignoring him; as an even younger kid, next to a cow on a farm to which his parents took him every summer; in his sailor-uniform; at his wedding to my colleague; with his small grandson....And then stock-still, eyes shut, nearby, in the casket.

In its wood and glass box, the American flag reminded me of my dad's; both of the men had been in the Navy, though in different eras. I kissed my colleague's cheek, coming and going, and registered with another colleague on my way out that at 64, my widowed colleague's husband was only six years older than Pat; I drove home through a dangerous rain, blasting the radio to drown out any mournful thoughts as best I could, and to invite my desire in parallel.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Are Time and I on the Same Side?

The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions.

For my Time & Learning course, as homework, I was asked the following question among a series:

"Do you think slowing down the pace of your life would increase your quality of life?
Why?"


I responded:

Yes, since today, I left the house and all while driving, put on makeup; stopped for gas; dialed into a conference call; sat on the line for 10 minutes, but no one showed -- my colleagues from another time-zone had re-scheduled it, but didn't tell me in e-mail prior to my checking e-mail before leaving the house at 7:05 am; called in twice more, in case I had mis-dialed while trying to drive; had my vitamins; ate half of my breakfast; read and underlined relevant parts of half of the last page of the “Time and Society" article while going slowly over the Tappan Zee Bridge; stopped reading when the traffic diminished; and called my mom; and then wolfed down the rest of breakfast in the parking lot of work while moving to a favorite tune on the radio; walked into work quickly; set up my computer; went to the ladies room; and got on a second conference call – all by 8:30 am.

It would increase my quality of life to slow down, so that I could catch my breath reliably, more often.

Another series of homework questions and responses:

1) About the experience of speed and slowness
a) What are the things you like to do quickly?

Eat, make decisions, drive....

b) What are the things you like to do slowly?

Take baths, read Sunday’s “New York Times,” talk with my mom on the phone during my commute, monitor Facebook, interpret Torah passages, blog.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Learning=Life

The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions.

Feeling Alive When Learning

There's little that's more delicious than being an agent of others' learning all day and then getting to go to a class at night, where it's someone's job to be an agent of *my* learning.

My head was pounding by the end of class tonight, but it was a sweet headache. It's pounding further now, but it's worth it.

In my Time & Learning class tonight, we spoke of discretionary time and rhythmanalysis compared with psychoanalysis, and "Deaf Time" and time duration vs. experience in connection with resumes, and the different sense of rhythm of people with ADD and more.

At the end of class our professor handed us an article he wrote, "Moment and a Theory of Moments." So far, after a quick read, I'm most intrigued by the distinction made in the article between an instant and a moment. Alhadeff-Jones (2009) wrote on how instants really are shorter than moments, and quoted Hess (2004), who wrote that moments can have a ritual resonance preceding and following them.

Even as I'm beat from a day that began at 7 am and went till 7 pm, not including the car-ride back to Armonk from NYC, I felt so alive, driving back.

I blasted the radio and while channel-surfing, happened on Rod Stewart's "Young Turks." The chorus made me feel even more alive:
Young hearts be free tonight, time is on your side.
Young hearts be free tonight, time is on your side.
Young hearts be free tonight, time is on your side.

Young hearts gotta run free, be free, live free
Time is on, time is on your side
Time, time, time, time is on your side
is on your side
is on your side
is on your side
Young heart be free tonight
tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, yeah[!]