My Favorite Sort of Acting

The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions.

Women Who Play Gay in Movies

We saw a remarkable movie last night, "HaSodot"/"The Secrets." Neither of the leading ladies were lesbian nor religious in real life, and yet during the film, I really believed their story; they met in an Orthodox Jewish women's seminary in Safed, Israel.

Their attraction to each other felt genuine and so did their engagement in Jewish texts. It was disappointing and impressive at once to see the DVD interviews with the actors because they were very apparently heterosexual and secular, rather than sapphic and religious.

Nobel-prize winner, Isaac Bashevis Singer, would have been proud. He might have written this story, if he were still alive and writing in 2008.

Flashing Back

Watching it reminded me of being 20 and studying Chumash/Bible with, let's call her Shoshannah when I lived in Jerusalem for my junior year of college; I needed remedial help, as we were studying in Hebrew with renowned Bible scholar Nechama Leibowitz, and it was beyond me...but perfectly comfortable for Shoshannah; she was Orthodox and had gone to a yeshivah/Orthodox school through 12th grade, and was in Jerusalem for the year while one of her parents was on sabbatical.

Shoshannah was 17 and guilelessly magnetic. She was the smartest person I met while in Jerusalem that year, with smooth, olive skin and contrasting blue eyes. I earned a poor grade in the class ultimately, but had a stimulating time, doing so.

If she hadn't been Orthodox, and I had been more courageous about my sexual identity back then, and she had been receptive -- lots of "if's," I know -- I would have fallen deeply in love with her, I think, rather than just a bit. After the year was done, we corresponded a few times -- this was pre-e-mail -- and her letters were all about the boyfriend she now had back in the States.

It Feels Good to Be Back

Last week, I was talking to someone who had been an active performance artist and was less so now. She agreed sheepishly when I asked, "So you're a performance artist?"

"Well, yes, but I used to do it more often."

"Neat! You know, I like to think of myself as a writer, but I'm not comfortable saying so aloud typically, and I've found it much easier to say, 'I'm a blogger.' But it's been too long since I've blogged and so now, I feel sheepish about calling myself that, too."

"Everyone needs a hiatus," she replied generously. And as much as that was perhaps just a polite statement on her part, at that moment, it filled me with hope.

Yes! That's where I've been -- on hiatus! This blog is my friend. For years now, I have used it to think aloud and when I am not using it, I feel like my thinking is stoppered and like I might not even be thinking as much, which makes me feel sad and frustrated.

At the moment, I feel happy and nearly sated -- the opposite. "HaSodot"/"The Secrets" opened my writing bottle once more.

Conflict Non-resolution

The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions.

Wishing For An Alternate Outcome, But How?

This afternoon, I wrote this for the Conflict Resolution course I'm taking this semester; it happened earlier today:

Recently, my partner and I were returning to the women’s locker-room from swimming laps at our YMHA pool. The YMHA, which is the Jewish version of the YMCA, has strict rules designed to protect women’s modesty – for those who want the protection – including designated hours for women-only swims and a posted rule, stating that boys over the age of five are not allowed in the women’s locker-room.

Heading to the showers, we opened the door and as a small family of a mother, daughter and son were heading out of it. Dripping in our bathing-suits, I stopped nonetheless and said, looking at the boy, “This is not OK. I don’t want my tsniut (the religious, Hebrew term for modesty, which I knew she would understand) compromised by him.” He looked ashamed and afraid of my anger, and in parallel, way too old/tall, to be present in the women’s locker-room.

The woman herself was wearing a head-cover that concealed all of her hair and a floor-length skirt and long-sleeved blouse – all indicators of her Orthodoxy. She looked completely caught off-guard and asked, “What?”

“My tsniut. It’s OK for yours to be respected, but not mine?”

“It’s family-swim now.”

“Yeah, but it’s not family-shower,” said my partner, and then, “How old is he?”

“Yeah, I’m going to be naked in a minute,” I said, “and I don’t want him in the locker-room when I am.”

She didn’t answer Pat’s question and instead looked at me and asked, “What am I supposed to do?”

“Ask the lifeguard,” I said angrily and let them pass.