Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Pat & My Mom Are Tied

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Now, Pat is tied with my mother as the person with whom I have lived the longest in my life. I find myself making deals with my mom that I hope she can keep, and being reminded of that song I've written about here before, from "Into the Woods:" "No One is Alone:"
No one is alone. Truly.
No one is alone.
Sometimes people leave you.
Halfway through the wood.
Others may deceive you.
You decide what's good.
You decide alone.
But no one is alone.
I don't want my mom, or Pat, leaving me, "...halfway through the wood" the way my dad of blessed memory had to do so due to cancer. Actually, my dad (z"l) left me less than half-way through the wood.

This morning, I find myself, saying to my mom: "Let's both go swimming in the Teachers College pool just before I graduate," which will be more than a year from now. This November, God willing, my mom will turn 85. She has lived longer without my dad than with him. they were married for 27 years when he died, and she's been without him for 30 years.

Funny how I bargained with myself at the start of this vacation that I wanted to stay in the present and enjoy every drop of the vacation...but something about having time off to think is making me reflective about how much time any of my loved ones (and I) have left, and it's making me think existentially, not just about this week vs. the rest of my work-year.

Today, I pray that Pat and I will live for long enough to:
  • Marry legally, ideally while our mothers are still alive
  • Travel through Israel and Ireland while we're still able-bodied
  • Pay off our mortgage (which should be done in less than eight years)
  • Earn more leisure-time together.
I also pray that my mom and I will live for long enough to:
  • Be at Pat's and my wedding
  • Swim together in the TC pool just prior to my graduation
  • See me march for my Master's in Adult Learning and Leadership.