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Dropping into the Middle of Therapy
"You don't want to adapt, or you say you can't....So you are just hard-wired to be verbose?"
"Yes, congenitally. I don't want to learn to be succinct. [It's too hard.]"
"What if you could get a bigger repertoire?"
"No."
"These things you're telling me, they've probably been with you since the beginning of time, right?"
"Yes." [So how can you possibly think you're going to help me change them?]
At the Session's Start:
"I think this is interesting."
"It is."
"Last time, you nodded so understandingly -- or maybe that was a standard nod -- when I talked about breathing, and how I forget to when I'm afraid....And, also, last time, when you said you thought I'd win the competition, that is, that I'd tell stories and gain nothing from you, so I'd win, I was taken aback. Did I sound like I was trying to compete with you, or was that your stuff?"
"I *am* a very competitive person, but I'm not sure it was mine because usually, when it is, I have to think about what happened for days.
At the End of the Session
"See? I did it again. I do that to therapists. I just talk & talk & talk."
"Well, we need to know your story."
And then, since I had not really let her get a word in edge-wise for nearly 45 minutes, she responded to my observation about the breathing problem:
"The reason I shook my head so vigorously about the breathing is because it's so common."
"Can you fix it?"
"Usually, it fixes itself when you get to the bottom of the anxiety."
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