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Friday, November 13, 2009

How to Get More Out of Therapy

The postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies.

Bring Everything. Don't Be Defended.

"I can't wait to see how this shows up in your blog."

"Don't flatter yourself."

"Oh, I just assumed you posted every interaction."

Only the ones that inspire me...so all right, I was inspired by the conversation I had with a friend, and so yes, here comes excerpts from it:

"The biggest risk of blogging about your therapy experience is that you will dissipate it. You'll blog about what you felt, but didn't say instead of bringing it to your therapist. You need to bring everything because then it's transformed from 'just talking' to being about a relationship. It's like object lesson in relationships. A lab."

"Ugh. I don't want to tell her that I felt her eyes were glazing over as I talked last time. I felt ashamed when I walked out for boring her. I don't want to have to tell her about being distracted by her attractiveness. About my competitive feelings."

"She needs to know: That freaked me out. I was afraid to go there. You're such a rich collection of things -- and further ahead of a number of people, who would not even recognize the feelings you've already recognized."

"Why do you like therapy?"

"I like crackling with the edge of my own understanding. It's like a good seminar, an amazing blend of intellectual and emotional...like self-educating. I like the multi-facetedness of it -- that it can be about my work...and my childhood. There's no such thing as a tangent."

"Am I failing if it takes 20 years?"

She laughs, "I don't even think that way. [In sessions,] you're looking at *everything,* but not in an annoying way. For me, it starts like beads on a chain, usually processing the previous conversation. And you talk about what's in the room. Good ones will comment on what they're noticing."

"It sounds slow."

"I know. You're less patient than I am."

"And I don't want to tell her that it annoyed me when she asked me to think about whether I could change."

"She's heard it all. Whatever's going on, you'll project it onto your therapist."

"I have such unappealing stuff to project."

"Well, that's the difference between it being a matter of coasting vs. being super-challenging. If you feel edgy, that's it....The more you can feel while you're sitting there, the better."

5 comments:

Denise said...

I started 3 different comments about competition, your succint I'm vague and my sponsor being barely able to keep her eyes from rolling to the back of her head when I'm reading her my 4th. step. Your the writer. I love reading your blogg.I didn't post anything and started to go to bed I had to come back and tell you..I don't want to comment, I want to talk to you.I miss you. me no write so well I want ot touch ,see your eyes and be vague and still understood. thanx for being here.
love
denise

Sarah Siegel said...

I sent you e-mail, asking for your phone number, which doesn't seem to be on Switchboard.com, so please give it to me and we'll talk. Love, Sarah

rucsb said...

Therapy only makes one person rich :
The counsellor.

I personally think, For self education - talking to your loved ones and finding spirituality by doing things u love most , how about pursuing & exploring Zen ..Buddism.



Love,
Ruchi

Sarah Siegel said...

Ruchi, thank for your input. You're my second Indian friend who believes that loved ones are better than therapists; maybe that's a fluke and maybe it's cultural. I have a Japanese friend who also thinks it's not necessarily an optimal way to get help. Still, I'm finding it stimulating so far and I'm willing to keep trying it for awhile. As far as spirituality goes, I need to pray more often than I do, and my swimming is my meditation-time, as it makes me breathe.

rucsb said...

Nice..That you find time doing things doing you love most.

Therapy : Been there, done that !
I prefer to blog though not as courageous as you to share my personal thoughts & leave it out for the world to read me.