Family Proxies

The postings on this site are my own and don’t necessarily represent IBM’s positions, strategies or opinions.

My Mother's Indian Counterpart

Was I like that at 14? I still am. I relish the same pop radio station as my friend Chitra's 14-year-old daughter, Niki, and I bought pants that were fun, if not age-appropriate, when Chitra and Niki took Pat and me shopping yesterday.

Chitra said, "I felt like your mother, taking you to a store that was good for your pocketbook, though you told me you prefer retail."

It's true that I prefer getting in and out, buying exactly what I came for, rather than hunting for hidden gems that are inexpensive and not necessarily anything that I needed. Probably, I did need up to two pairs of pants, but was able to buy four pairs for the cost of just one that I bought at Marks & Spencer here several weeks ago.

I never thought I'd miss my mother in terms of her perennial attempts at consciousness-raising of me on how much money I could save by not buying retail.

Being a 14-year-old, Teenaged Boy

This weekend, I spent time with not just one, but three, 14-year-olds -- two in New York, by phone, and one in India, in person.

Our nephew Zach's sitar and Sankrit-singing concert is today and I wanted to see how he was feeling about preparing for it. And then we talked about his burgeoning computer-building business.

"I like giving customers options, which helps them feel more in control," he said, "Like, I can give you a $35 refund, or I can buy another stick of RAM for you."

"Did the stick of RAM cost less than $35?"

"No, that's the actual cost. I don't like to rip anyone off because they won't come back if I do."

"I'm so glad that you've got tech-savvy and business-savvy, Zach. That's a great combo."

Zach's hoping for another customer soon, so that he can buy an iTouch. "Zach, Pat told me she prefers the old iPod, with the wheel."

"The whole thing's a wheel now, since it's all a touch-screen."

I told this to Pat, who out-geeked him, I think, by responding, "Yeah, but with the wheel version, I can pause a podcast without even taking the iPod out of my pocket. I know where the pause part is just by feel."

As far as the concert goes, Zach said he was most nervous about the singing part. I do hope it gets put on YouTube, so that I can proudly see what I'll necessarily miss.

Being a 14-year-old, Teenaged Girl

Our niece Zoe answered the phone when I called my oldest sister yesterday.

"They came to interview us about our high school compared to the one in 'Gossip Girls'."

"What's 'Gossip Girls?'"

"It's very famous. It was a series of books I read about an all-girls high school on the Upper-east Side [of NYC], and now, they've made it into a TV show."

I felt behind the times, until today, when I looked it up in Wikipedia I see that the first show aired in late-September, and since we're not living in the United States, we wouldn't have seen any promos for it.

"What are you reading now?"

"Hairstyles of the Damned."

I laughed hard. "C'mon. Really?"

"It's a great book, actually...."

Teens These Days

"Well, I'm enjoying keeping up with you through your Facebook profile. You've got some great pictures out there, and I like how you joined the event that was going to wear blue on October 4th to commemorate people who perished in the Holocaust. I joined that event, too, because of you."

"What I really want to do is Displace Me for people in Uganda, and the Day of Silence in April. For Displace Me and Invisible Children, I have to live in a public park, in a cardboard shelter that I make myself, for 24 hours with a box of Saltines and a gallon of water."

"Zoe, that's not only happening in Uganda."

"But the genocide is also the problem."

"Ah, OK." I love how social and community service is popular among Zoe and her friends. When I was in high school, the most popular organization outside of school was Junior Achievement (JA). JA was a fine organization, but it wasn't designed to do what Displace Me does.

"Tons of kids from my school, including me, are also going to do the Day of Silence."

"You mean, on December 1st, for AIDS?" [I see now that it's about starting to talk, but I could have sworn that the first one, in 1987, was a day of silence, to honor the lives lost. What I found at the site was better.]

"No, it's not for AIDS. It's in April and it's for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth who are bullied. To stop the bullying."

I love how both of them -- Zach and Zoe -- understand, empathize and affiliate with GLBT people. Last spring, Zach talked about how someone at school was making fun of another boy who seemed effeminate. Zach intervened.

Zoe's Indian Counterpart

On Saturday morning, after my exchange with Zoe, Pat and I met Chitra and Niki in front of Blossom Books and went for a walk till it opened. I told Niki that I had just installed the movie taste comparison application on Facebook and was disappointed in friends who didn't award five stars to "Mean Girls," and had she seen the film?

"Yes," and she loved it.

"I mean, I wondered, why am I even friends with these people if they have no desire to see this great movie?" I said, commenting on the comparisons of our taste that I was able to view online. I wasn't trying to pander or curry favor with Niki by showing her that I cared about movies she cared about. I was serious. Still, I think she was pleasantly surprised and it did give us common ground faster.

Driving into the city, Pat and I heard a fantastic song, from 1994, that I hadn't heard for a long time: "Here Comes the Hotstepper." It put me in a bouyant mood, and made me even more open to the day.

Chitra, Niki, Pat and I walked along Brigade Road and I told Chitra, "It's not just because you showed us the good stores to go to here, but just walking up the street with you makes me feel like I'm part of society here, rather than apart from it. It's nice to be walking with you. It's different when it's just Pat and me."

Chitra smiled.