Ladies Who Lunched

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SMS: Meet You at Noon Outside Royal Ballroom

At lunch, I felt even happier to see my American colleague and friend than I imagined I would. Yesterday, I wore what should have been today's salwar kameez, as I was anticipating the lunch and thought we were meeting yesterday, rather than today.

"You look so...Indian," she said twice, and then later, "You look great." She's been on assignment for IBM in a European country for two years and was here for meetings.

Atlanta might have been the locale of our previous meal. "How neat it is that you're here in India," I said, putting my hand on her back for a moment as we walked to the restaurant.

What emerged from our conversation was the inherent loneliness of assignments as well as the amazing opportunities. My friend described getting a flat-tire on her bike, and then carrying it on her shoulder for three miles back to her apartment, passing 120 people -- "I counted...." -- none of whom asked if he or she could help.

"I asked the team about it on Monday and they said, 'If you had asked for help, any of them would have stopped and helped. Everyone was respecting your privacy.' I had to realize that in that culture, I was being self-pitying because I expected a proactive offer of help when I should have just *asked* for help."

I shared that now and then, there's a lonely quality to feeling aware of the vast difference of my cultural background from that of everyone with whom I interact at work here. That's mine to get over....

On Friday, my local manager has invited the team to his home for lunch, and probably, I won't feel lonely at all during that visit. We'll see....